Dear Hats,

I'm just going to let it all out here. I'm going to apologize now because it's going to hurt.

LEAVE. ME. ALONE. My days are so much better when you're not around. I don't want you to buy me chocolates. I don't want you to buy me flowers. I don't want anything from you! All that I want is to be your friend. A friend that you hang out with once in a while. Stop pestering me. I've got other things to do.

You're a really nice guy. You really are. But I did no ask for this. Back off, please.

I'm in love with someone else.

-Purple sweatshirt